Have you ever been judged by someone who you had hoped knew your heart? Have you ever been misunderstood? Have you made decisions on simple things, just for an example, how to seat guests at a dinner, and had those decisions criticized? Yes, that is a strange example, but it happens.
If the answer is yes, then welcome to this time and term we call 'Life'. Life is full of judgments, misunderstandings, criticisms, negativism, etc. etc. Ninety percent of what life includes is ours to deal with and work through. Yes, there is that ten percent that is not our deal, but I don’t think we are free as believers to blame life on anyone else. In dealing with life, we have to accept the pain of disgruntlement, and give it to God.
My life is simply not going to go the way I want it to. I don’t have the master plan that will work. I am simply not smart enough to do that. I am simply not gifted enough. I am simply not enough of anything to be all knowing, to look into the future and know what needs to be done or look into the past and decide what should have been done.
Life is messy. I can handle that. It’s when communication has shut down and you are no longer able to discuss misperceptions (because the other person doesn't want to work it out) that I have the most difficulty. I am a person who desires to understand. I desire to be understood and to understand others’ words, thoughts and feelings. This usually demands that I ask questions, lots of questions. Sometimes, I am sure this gets on the nerve of other people.
Life gets messier when you are judged as not desiring to understand. ‘Judged’, that would be the magic word. I have been studying about that term some. It means that we have decided 'what is', based on our little window into the world. It is presumptious that any of us could know any of the thoughts of another person, etc. only through our little lens.
I will never forget being on a bus in Russia one day, when it was very cold. A little elderly lady was seated beside me, next to the window. She took her thumbnail and scratched off the ice in the shape and size of a postage stamp – yes inside the bus, so that she could see outside. How else would we know when it was time to get off the bus? I’ve remembered that scene many times, as I realize that none of us have the whole picture on anything. We only get a better picture (I’m not thinking we can ever get the whole picture – the whole truth), when we are willing to discuss issues, misunderstandings, criticisms, yes, and even why we placed a person in a particular seat at the table when necessary. When we are ready to hear the other person’s view of why they said or did what they did or the way they were, then real understanding comes and grace can be given.
When this is not the situation, when the flow of conversation is eliminated, then we all lose. Life is too short to dwell on what isn’t, or what wasn’t. It takes discipline and a determined will and God, His Word, The Holy Spirit, and lots of prayer to stay focused on the good – the positive in this life. The attitude of gratefulness carries us a long way toward having a joy filled heart in the midst of the messiness of life.
Yes, as you probably have already guessed I am in a place of great misunderstanding, of being judged, of grace not being extended to me. When these times come, the most interesting thing is that anyone thinks that grace can be omitted. How as believers do we ever walk through life without it? We are always responsible to deal with grace. Sometimes the pain goes so deep that grace is blocked. I can understand that very well. However, to have a heart that is joyful, it is needful to develop gratitude for the good. We are to look for it as if we are searching for gold and silver. To do that, we are to set our minds on what is commanded in Philippians 4:8,“Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.” New Living Translation
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